Sunday, February 7, 2010

Airplane Trips with Kids

Yep, I'll be traveling on a plane with the kids real soon....again. 

In honor of that....and the fact that I can't sleep.  I'm posting this little ditty I wrote a long time ago, emailed out to family, and then somehow put up as a draft on my blog.  I guess it's time to publish it.  Be forewarned.....it's another mommy story with bodily functions and aromas from the bottomside of a child.

Maybe someone will laugh.  Maybe just me. I think I can laugh about it now.  Here's goes nothing.....

So this story is going to involve some questions and scenarios for you:

Imagine you're businessman traveling on a plane in the first class section. Sitting next to you is a mother with a one-year-old baby.
Would you rather have?
a) a screaming baby
b) a stinky baby

Okay, now imagine you're the mother of the baby sitting in first class next to a businessman.
Would you rather have?
a) a screaming baby
b) a stinky baby

Got your answers? Any reasoning behind those? Let's continue:

Chewy and I got to sit in first class on our way home from visiting grandparents. Our flight left at 9:20 PM! Keep in mind that's two hours past the kids' bedtime and they hadn't slept yet. As far as sitting in first class, we would have rather been in coach. But after almost 3 hours on the computer and phone with NWA, that's where we ended up. Yep, I know....it just sucks to be me.

Chewy and I got to sit in the last row of first class next to a traveling businessman. Chewy enjoyed looking out the window as we were seated on the plane. She was banging on the window and generally having a good time for being up past her bedtime. Then we started to taxi down the runway. Perhaps the motion of the plane helped move things along in her little colon. That's when the urge came upon her to start making grunting noises and turn red in the face. Yes folks, she was pooping. I frantically whispered, "No, not here. Can't you wait?" But you know how a one-year-old loves to listen to her mother. Chewy proceeded on with her poop, just as we were taking off. We got into the air and immediately hit turbulence. "We've hit some rumblings," as the captain put it. Babies and rumblings equal immediate sleep. That's at least what most parents hope for!

So back to my questions at the beginning: do you want a crying baby or a smelly baby? I was left with two choices: leave Chewy sleeping and endure the stinkiness or change her and risk a 99.9% probability that she'd cry and scream and carry on. Plus, I'd have to change her in that tiny airplane bathroom, which is feat in itself. What would you do and why?

Ready for my choice?

I chose to endure the stinkiness and subject all those on the plane to it! (Aren't I just friendly?) I observed that the man next to me had a stuffy nose and he kept blowing it and generally sounded stuffed up. He probably couldn't smell Chewy as well as I could with that nose. Plus, she wasn't that stinky, or I'm just use to it. Now my story isn't over yet, nor are my questions for you.

What would you rather smell?
a) stinky diaper
b) stinky feet
c) all of the above
None of the above is NOT an option!

If you were riding on my plane, the answer would be c) all of the above. The gentleman next to me proceeded to take off his dress shoes, as I imagine they were too tight. He did have lovely blue and gray striped socks, but he did not have lovely smelling feet. Either he was trying to mask the scent of the diaper, was trying to get back at me for the smelly diaper, or he just didn't care because he couldn't smell it. I will tell you that I much prefer a smelly diaper.

But we're not done yet. My fellow passengers were probably wishing that someone had on one of those really powerful, almost make you gag, strong perfumes or colognes. Perhaps, I was just really aware of smells, being that I had a sleeping smelly child on my lap or other people were trying to mask the scent. (Really, it wasn't that bad!) But then I smelled a lovely and very strong lotion that the lady in the aisle over put on. It had a lovely tropical, pineapple, coconut scent. When that scent wore off I smelt coffee brewing. I'm pretty sure not too many people drink coffee at 10:30 in the evening. Oh...except perhaps the pilots. They can drink all the caffeinated coffee they want, especially when I'm on their plane!

Still not finished yet. I have another question for you. What happens to a baby wrapped in a fleece blanket? Chewy was wrapped up in her fleece blanket and there was no taking it from her as she had it clenched in her fist. Well, a baby wrapped in a fleece blanket gets very warm. Would you rather smell cold or warm poop? So what happens to poop when it gets warm? (Recall my lovely poop in the dryer story, it doesn't smell too lovely.) Poop gets even stinkier as it's warmed up. It really has a nice lovely stench to it. And you don't use the word stench when you're referring to something with a beautiful aroma.

Now, do you believe my story? Is it true or false?

It is....VERY TRUE!

Other than the stinky diaper episode, the kids traveled very well. We can't complain, we're very blessed. They traveled well both ways. The kids even got to go in the cockpit on the way to visit grandparents as we just happened to be related to the pilot (thank you pilot!). That was the highlight of the trip for Scooter! Biker Boy reported that Scooter traveled well (in coach) on the way home and slept most of the way too. Chewy got her diaper changed in the van before we drove home. Then everything was happy and pleasant smelling again.

Here's hoping for a happy and pleasant smelling trip home.  It wasn't so pleasant smelling on our arrival.  Seriously, why do mommies get all the airplane bathroom and poopy bottom stories?

Here's hoping you had a happy weekend and pleasant smells!  Enjoy!

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