Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Fire In The Hole

Pocket gophers are not da bomb.  So we gave them the bomb.

The fact that these little varmints are tunneling under the foundation of our house and compromising our concrete pad, well, that means we had to deal with them.  We've already got cracks a happenin' in our concrete back patio.

On our date night, after getting to swim together without kids (thanks mom), Biker Boy and I visited two home improvement stores.  We bought these lovely gopher bombs at the big blue place.  The orange one didn't carry them.  We were only going to buy 4 packages, but threw in a 5th, just in case.

It was a rather exciting Saturday morning when Biker Boy and I skipped outside to play war with the gophers.  Okay, I'm not real thrilled about resorting to gassing those suckers, but they are doing some serious damage.  Plus there's nothing like lighting something called "The Giant Destroyer."  It sounds like fireworks.  Except that it's a super gasser.

We located areas of fresh tilings.  Those places where the gophers push the dirt up out of their tunnels and then plug their tunnel back up.  Bad gophers.  I'd give them a time-out if I could.  Then I'd make them pack their bags and move.  There are some prairie dogs about a half mile down the road, maybe they have room for some pocket gophers.

Then we dug.  And dug.  And dug.  And dug.  We dug in those tilings till we found an open tunnel.  Sometimes it was easy.  And sometimes it wasn't.  Sometimes I was lamenting the fact that I couldn't find a tunnel, but then I would find it.  Dig in the loose dirt, that's the key.  Sometimes I might have been calling those gophers bad names under my breath.  I'm just saying, cause I won't say it out loud.

Finding a tunnel was rather exciting.  I was so happy I was flinging dirt in my sandals.  And I tell the kids to never wear sandals or bare feet in our yard.  I mean our dirt.  But hey, we actually have grass in that picture above.  Too bad it's the kind that Biker Boy, Scooter, and I are allergic too.  Yep, just found out I'm allergic to it too.  But I digress.  Take a look at that hole.  Hee, hee.

Wanna see another gopher hole?  I have no idea why I took so many pictures of gopher holes.  I deleted a few.  Good thing we only have one set of neighbors who can see us in our backyard.  And they need to be in their second story to view us strange neighbors running around with bombs and yelling "Fire in the hole."  Actually when I think about it, we probably seem pretty tame to this neighborhood.

Biker Boy was in charge of lighting the fuses.  Men and fire.  There's just something about those two.  I was in charge of running from hole to hole and making sure a gopher didn't escape.  That wasn't easy.  Especially since we had opened 9 holes and they weren't anywhere near each other.  Some were by the house, some were in the yard, and some where way the heck down our hill in the backyard.  I never did see a gopher.

I got to see smoke billowing out of a hole after Biker Boy lit a fuse in a hole on the other side of the house.  Neat.

The smoke smells a little like what our water smells like when we don't treat it.  I'm not kidding.  Yucky stuff.

Biker Boy lit gopher bomb after gopher bomb.  Wave to the neighbors in the background.

He'd stick it in the hole and make sure it was smoking and then cover the hole back up with dirt until smoke wasn't billowing out the end we put it in.

Then Biker Boy would run to another hole, throw another bomb in and cry "Fire in the hole."  Okay, that's not totally true.  I was the one yelling, not Biker Boy.  It reminded me of that game that came on Mac computers in the 90's.  Power Pete.  Good game.  Now yell, "Fire in the hole," and see if it makes you feel better.  It makes me feel better.

Unfortunately we're not winning the gopher war.  We did a little patrolling of the enemy lines yesterday and discovered 2 new areas of tilings right outside our master bedroom.  Darn little varmints.  They got the bomb again. And poison this time.  We put the poison down a hole that the pets and children can't easily get to because it's behind the water barrel.

Oh, we did call an exterminator.  After hearing how much it costs and what they do....we decided to give it a try ourselves first.  Typical for us.  

Now tell me....what do you do to get rid of nasty little tunneling varmints before they make you go looney?

Now I'm off to yell, "Fire in the hole" and watch some Looney Tunes.  With my sick kid who is home today. Actually, we're off to the doctor first.  Have yourself a great day! 

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